How can I find a conscious, authentic and open masculine man?

This is one of the most common questions that I get asked.

I find it very hard to answer if I am honest with you.

But not because I don't think I have an idea of why, but I am overly aware of the masculine shadow need to tell women what they should and shouldn't be doing.

And this fear of telling women what I think they need to hear and potentially offending them stops me from speaking to women, what I think.

I felt I wanted to get that out.

So, what do women need to do to find a conscious, authentic and open masculine man?

First things first, stop trying to find.

Finding engages your judgment, which is influenced by your limiting beliefs about yourself and the world.

The women I know that find open-hearted men don't look for men.

They are always open to meeting any great human being in any place. Be that a place that you deem 'socially acceptable' or not.

Don't expect a man to be the finished article. A man that is willing and open to evolving is a great place to start.

Next is to pay close attention to the social media, women and places that you consume information about, especially if it is talking about men.

If you are constantly reinforcing the message that all men are cheaters, stupid, only want sex, no men are doing the work, or any other flavour of all men are trash, then you are programming yourself to believe that message. STOP IT!

Do your inner work.

Heal your relationships with masculine energy. If you blame the men for all of your and the world problems, that is not healing your relationship with the masculine.

Do your own relational work.

You need to take a frank look at how you relate to people. Are you showing up free of assumption and judgment, allowing yourself to receive that person in front of you and not just communicating with your assumptions. Are you expressing what you feel, want and need in a way that people hear and understand you? Do you actually know how to listen?

We do a lot of self-development work but not enough relational development work

Do what brings more love and passion into your life.

This isn't just for women. This is important for men too. This is to counteract the intrinsic negativity in the world. Embodying what you love is fucking sexy.

Life isn't all love and light, so get friendly with your shadow.

You are sure to find some clues in there about why the man you desire isn't coming towards you

Speak your truth about what you love and what you are passionate about to the world.

Don't hide your light or dim yourself. There will always be people that think you are too much. It doesn't matter. You don't need everyone to like you. Think of any amazing women in the world and remember that people would have told them that they were too much at any point in their lives.

Engage in things that bring you joy and allow you to bring your passion and love into the world.

Whatever it is, do more of it.

Be in the practice of connecting to and embodying your feminine.

I am not a feminine embodiment teacher or coach, but you can follow many good ones here. For some women, this is learning that it is safe to be feminine and to connect to your own femininity.

Spend time with people that will challenge you on your bullshit.

If your life is filled with people who tell you how great you are, that you aren't doing anything wrong, and that every man you meet isn't good enough for you, the people in your life are either lying to you or only choosing to see the good in you. It might feel good, but it's not serving you. Get a coach who can show you the areas of life where you can expand, do more, or are mess up.